Away from the Norm.

I grew up in a house where things like breast, vagina, sex, kissing or what are views were never expected to be a subject of discussion. My parents never spoke or taught me about sex or what it entailed so I grew up with a curious mind, everything I saw I wanted to experiment with it.

I learnt from peers, books and movies as I grew older. My hostel mates in high school taught me un-consciously as I watched from afar how to wrap a sanitary pad around my vagina during my menstrual period though I had still had a kind of learning on the job experience and for a very long time I thought a person could get pregnant from kissing especially when feeling wet. The high school I also attended was of little or no assistance because when it was time to learn about the reproductive system our tutor taught the subject like a forbidden fruit not to be eaten, and even though he taught on some salient point he still danced around all the important areas of discus ending the class with draw the reproductive organ on the board and for those of you who want a career in medicine you would know more as you progress academically, no concise social knowledge whatsoever, no wonder the streets take so much credit giving rise to the increase in unwanted pregnancies in teenagers therefore leaving the mind in a worse state than it was before.
However, society instructs the girl child at a tender age; an instruction that comes across as a warning rather than an advice.
“Don’t let a man touch you, else you get pregnant”. One of such many instructions I grew up hearing… My dad would always threaten while growing up as a young lady “If you ever get pregnant I would disown you” after which I would look lost wondering how easy getting pregnant must seem, not telling me the importance about my vagina, the intricacies and the delicate frame of the vagina, the extra attention it needs, they forget to mention that I am my vagina, that it is my identity and that I cease to exist as a woman without it.
The vagina one of the organs that has been strategically and visually placed for all.
The vagina a sex organ and a weapon used for war, peace and negotiations yet many still need to learn how to wield and sheath it like a sword because of the level of ignorance and decadence society has sold us.
Scientifically, we have been taught that the vagina has an in-built cleansing system yet society sees it as a part of the body that needs to be disdained on the outside and partially accepted on the inside.
The vagina a six letter word just like every other part of the body seeking recognition and acceptance.
The vagina a place to be celebrated and not demeaned, a story yet to be unfolded, an abode that longs to be carried with pride.
The society also instructs with the help of culture that women are not permitted to enjoy sex and even though they don’t say it openly you hear it in their unfinished statement, you hear it when a mother is giving out her daughter out in marriage, they instruct her not to moan when she is been pleasured, they tell her to suppress it, if at all you want to moan, do it quietly so your husband does not consider you a pig while some cultures go to the extent of cutting out the clitoris off  the vagina, they call it circumcision thereby exposing the child to all manner of irritants and diseases.
The vagina an identity that has been wrongly used to judge the worth of a woman. If it is been assumed to be used by many she is labeled a slut and if also assumed not to be available they are quick in tagging her selfish – ungenerous.
Oh vagina. Hasn’t it brought down many kingdoms and restored some? Doesn’t it beckon to the wise and the foolish, saying ,
 “Come! Come!! and I will give you all the treasures you desire.
A place that serves as a passage to life, death, pleasure, victories, defeat and a sense of belonging to many. A place many men feel, forgetting its carrier feel entitled to, like it’s their God given right.
One scared female part, yet spoken about in hushed tones. A land of exploration, yet uncelebrated.
Another of such several fables society and culture has sold us is the one that says “When a woman and a man take a bath together and if during the bath the woman uses the soap to wash her vagina that automatically the woman would be the boss of the man at home. Another is told of a woman who is seen to be prospering in her business particularly the food business popularly known as ‘Buka’ or ‘Mama Put’, society is seen judging her and saying the water she uses to cleanse her vagina has been added to the food therefore making the food delicious so people can rush it. They fail to recognize her strength, hardwork, tenacity that has been invested into the business and so the only way they know how to bring her down is by shaming her vagina.

Have you ever wondered why the vagina has been reduced to derogatory names like the little red wagon, axe wound, cunt, pussy, flower, honeypot, and cookie just to mention a few, while neglecting its original name. Ever thought of why it’s used as a yardstick to shame women? This is because our vagina stories have not been told like they should.

The vagina a name that should be called and pronounced with its syllables,  accorded respect just like every other part of our body, not giving room for any old fables or lies. It’s time we owned it with pride and shed off the shame

I have therefore come to the conclusion throughout the journey my vagina has afforded me that my vagina is me and it should be worn proudly with no shame. I enjoy all the pleasures it affords me and I have come to the understanding of knowing how to wield and yield it properly. My vagina is life and therefore a semi-god.
I would suggest you take a trip to vagina town on your own and not when you are inviting a second body inside, call it by its name, look through it, explore the opportunities it afford you don’t let it be told to you by another, take a mirror for a better view and if you have to, take a goddamn good picture and then absolve yourself off from every form of  shame and guilt that the vagina has been labeled and then give it a long tight embrace, it is yours and you can use it as it pleases you.
In other words, who gets ashamed and scared of something so influential and powerful?

10 thoughts on “Away from the Norm.

  1. The answer to your question is MEN. The fact that the Vagina can be a source of weakness to the penis, which therefore makes it a source of weakness to us. Nice write up though. I haven't heard before \”don't moan when he is pleasing you\”. There is no way I can accept that. Moaning is the recognition that you are on the right track. If we they are worried about the neighbors then I would tell her when to shush it and when to bring the house down.

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  2. And for those of you who want a career in medicine you would know more as you progress academically. Damn! such a good write up.I would suggest you take a trip to vagina town on your own and not when you are inviting a second body inside, call it by its name. Good night.

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  3. (Please don't let my parents see my comment. Lol) – First, Ladies should understand, no one can know your body more than you, hence, no one can please you if you don't understand where your pleasure spots are. Unfortunately, ladies shy out from being vocal when it's time to \”party\” – Guys ain't magicians. What a guy does to one lady and she enjoys, doing it for another girl may not work – So yeah, ladies should understand their body (not just Vagina) and be vocal when it's time to use it.

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